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M​.​S​.​M.

from Life & I by Dusty Limits

/

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lyrics

M.S.M.

If you're fond of surreptitious fondling,
And for willy you have quite a yen,
Or some frottage in a cottage where the light-bulb is low wattage:
You're a 'man-who-has-sex-with-men'.

If you go to church and end up kneeling,
And you finish with a loud 'amen!'
Though the sermon was appealing it's the priest who was revealing
You're a 'feller-who-has-sex-with-men'.

Or are you a famous football player?
Not a gayer, just a striker.
Though the balls you're best at handling,
Are mostly dangling from a biker.
Or a hitchhiker.

Do you go to gay bars oot in Glasgow,
And you hope your girlfriend disnae ken?
If you feel a twinge of guilt but you like what's under the kilt,
You're a 'bugger-who-has-sex-with-men'.

Cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock. (rpt)

And dosey-doe. Strip the Willow. Change partners.

Are you some kind of religious figure,
Or a sultan in the Middle-East?
Next to godliness is cleanness but you're partial to a penis,
And you won't be starving at the feast.

Are you someone who enjoys the man-porn,
Or a sauna full of steam perhaps?
If some poppers and cocaine'll lead to just a spot of anal,
You're a 'feller-who-has-sex-with-chaps'.

And you're sure your wife has no idea.
Do you fear the news would spite her?
Or are you scared that if she found out,
It really might excite her?
You might invite her.

There are folks who would call you 'bisexual'.
You'll deny it with a manly roar.
You may bellow like a bison, but you suck just like a Dyson,
You're a classic little Kinsey 4.

Cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock. (rpt)

And dosey-doe. The Gay Gordons. Promenade.

I remember you from Glastonbury,
There's a reason that you're called 'Big Ben'.
For your groin was getting restive in the freedom of the festival,
And tenting time and time again.

And you always say this is your 'first time'.
And you always claim you're 'strictly top'.
And you boast of cunnilingus while you take a pair of fingers...
Please just stop pretending.

Sexuality is one big rainbow,
I meet fellers like you now and then.
And I certainly don't judge you, and I really don't begrudge you,
'Cos I'd just be getting one in ten,
Without men-who-have-sex-with-men.

Cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock. (rpt)
Cock cock! Cock cock! Cock cock! Cock cock cock.

credits

from Life & I, released July 19, 2018

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Michael Roulston image

Michael Roulston UK

Michael Roulston is a composer, accompanist, arranger and actor-musician with a passion for cabaret.

www.michaelroulston.co.uk

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