Who Do You Want?

from by Roulston & Young

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S: Hey there - handsome in the front row
There’s one - thing I really want to know
If you had nothing to lose
Which one of us would you choose?

M: Hey there - gorgeous take your best shot
Tell me – do I make you feel red-hot
It’s clear that we both click
Which one of us will you pick?

B: Ooh (S: This is a one horse race - he’s only fit for glue)
B: Ooh (M: Alright, I’ll tell you a thing or two)

M: She’s a control freak
S: He is passive aggressive
His Justin Bieber scrapbook is darkly obsessive
M: She’s always moody
And he’s such a bitch
B: Which one of us do you plan to ditch?

S: He is a weirdo
M: She’s vain and neurotic
I’ve seen her in a onesie and it’s hardly erotic
S: He never washes
M: She’s got a septic tattoo
B: Who, who, who, who, who - do you wanna do?

B: This is the most important decision - you will ever make
S: Are you looking for a crap shag?
M: Or a tawdry sad mistake
B: This is your only chance at happiness so be careful what you say
We want to know__________
Are you straight - or are you gay?

B: Ooh x 7 (M: What if he’s bi? S: I’m not sharing! M: That’s disgusting)
B: Ooh x 7 (S: I don’t want your sloppy seconds M: You should be so lucky)

S: Hey you - sexy looking hot jock
M: I’d like to see you suck my tasty
S: Cocktail, try my canape
B: Which one of us will you lay?

S: Hey you – let’s go back to my place
M: We’ll shower and I’ll unload upon your
S: Faceook page, can we be friends?
B: Tell us please / how this ends?

M: She has a squint
S: His balls are lop-sided
M: When her parents had sex they were sadly misguided
S: Well he is a pervert
M: And she is a slag
B: Which one of us gets a shag?

S: One final thing
Before you decide
You can always flip me over and play the B-Side
M: If that horrifies
I sympathise with you
B: Who, who, who, who, who – do you wanna scr*w?


from Songs For Cynics, released July 28, 2013



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Michael Roulston UK

Michael Roulston is a composer, accompanist, arranger and actor-musician with a passion for cabaret.


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