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Polar Bear

from Life & I by Dusty Limits

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lyrics

POLAR BEAR

His Daddy was a lawman and he told his son at five,
You have to get a licence if you want to learn to drive,
To hunt'n'fish and watch t.v. a licence is the law,
But there is just one thing that you don't need a licence for...

You don't need a licence to make babies,
Almost anybody can do that.
You don't need a licence to create a human being,
All you need, his Daddy said, is fifteen minutes flat.
Sometimes five will do.
In my case only two.

He went away to college and he partied like a dude.
He got his girlfriend pregnant, she was Catholic, he was screwed.
He's tempered his ambition since his family has grown,
He didn't ever graduate, now he works for Vodafone.
'Cos you don't need diplomas to make babies.
Just find a girl who's looking for a man.
You don't need diplomas to create a human being.
All you need's a bottle of tequila, and a van.
Even a pick-up truck will do.
Or a Ford Fiesta.

Here's the last thing his Daddy said before he died:
Son, the Lord wants you to multiply.
Do you really want some goddamn chimpanzees to claim the Earth?
Then stick it in and don't ask why!
Don't ask why!
'Cos you don't need a reason to make babies.
Get your cock out son and soldier on.
You don't need a reason to create more human beings.
Just hope we find another planet when this one is gone.
There's a polar bear in Oxford Street,
Yet we still fly Ryanair.

Now I know what you're thinking, 'this man' is really me.
Well my friend you couldn't be more wrong.
For I have dodged that bullet, and for that I thank the Lord.
He made me gay so I could write this song.
Everybody sing along!

You don't need a licence to make babies.
All you need's some natural know-how,
You don't need a licence to create a human being,
So get your clothes off people, and make some babies now!
Make-a-little-baby now!
Get your clothes off people, and make some babies, now!

credits

from Life & I, released July 19, 2018

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Michael Roulston image

Michael Roulston UK

Michael Roulston is a composer, accompanist, arranger and actor-musician with a passion for cabaret.

www.michaelroulston.co.uk

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